I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
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