Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
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