so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
Randomize
