loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
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