Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
At least life still wants to fuck me.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Randomize
