its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
Randomize
