season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
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