i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Randomize
