some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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