And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
Randomize