guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
