omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
