OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Randomize
