I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
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