You're completely useless in the revolution.
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
My cat gives me a boner
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
I AM VODKA MAN
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
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