Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
Randomize
