windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
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