What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
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