She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
Randomize
