Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
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