Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
