i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Randomize
