I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
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