Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
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