New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
