So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize
