Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Randomize
