Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
