My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
Randomize