Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
He felt like a one man threesome
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
