he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Randomize
