I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
