At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
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