I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
Randomize
