When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
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