it's like iHOP with fire
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
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