I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
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