I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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