you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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