My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
Randomize
