I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
The feeling are messing with the penis
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
Randomize
