they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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