Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
you win again, gameday.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
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