Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
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