I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
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