so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
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