i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
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