Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
Randomize
