Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
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