How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
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