you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
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