i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Randomize
