Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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