Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
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