Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
Randomize
