Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Randomize