You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
Randomize
