Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize
